Ladies and gentlemen we have an amazing announcement for all you Apple heads today which you are just going to fall in love with. You know me, I always like to be the first to give you new product announcements and that is why I am absolutely delighted to bring you the brand new, straight out of the factory, never seen before, life changing Apple iProduct. 

That’s right, this new iProduct is not going to just enhance your world it is going to flip it upside down and inside out, and leave you covered in Apple glitter for a lifetime. Without further ado then let’s get into exactly what this new super iProduct is all about and why you are going to be making a bee-line for the store in no time at all to pick up this brand new product range from the legendary Apple team. 

You Know You Want It

If you are one of those huge Apple fans who lives for every product, secures every upgrade, believes in every morsel of information that comes from the words of the almighty Steve jobs and can’t live without a new Apple product for more than 3 months then this is the next item which you need in your life. The beauty of the new Apple iProduct is that you have no idea what it does, what it is made or, where it is made or how much it costs, you will be ready and willing to grab a sleeping bag and spend a cold 24 hours on a New York street ready to be first in line to secure it, and that’s what you call real passion. 

What is it Then?

Now, now, now we can’t just be releasing untold amounts of precious and sensitive information about the goings on at Apple HQ, the time will come when you find out what it is but let’s be honest, we both know that you don’t really care what it is, you’ll have it and all the accessories and you’ll be as happy as can be. 

Where Can I Get It?

Slow down hipster, you’ll find out soon enough where you can get it from and then of course you can vlog, blog, fill out forums and and text all of your friends to let them know where they can get it from, they may even wave to you in the queue! 

How Much?

Nice try, but we know fine well that you are more than ready to max out the credit card, take out a personal loan or do away with that pesky kidney in order to get this brand new and exciting iProduct, so let’s not pretend you give two hoots about the price, likely to be at least 100x production value. 

You need this in your life, you know that this will make you a more special person and way better than any of your friends, stay ready for more announcements you Apple fiend you.